im just so glad the word “ugh” was invented
how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”
What if the Slytherin common room had the same kind of magic that Hogwarts has that conceals it’s real appearance and shows something different to Muggles and only the Slytherin students can see the big fluffy cushions and kittens playing in the portraits and everyone else sees dank, dripping dungeons.
nothing fucked me up more than hearing the line “now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick, and it’s all in my head but she’s touching his chest” in mr brightside and REALIZING THAT SICK AND CHEST DON’T RHYME… ….SH E’S NOT TOUCHIGN HIS CHEST…..
i can’t get over how sad and funny it is when you see a teenage boy being real snotty about what he finds sexually attractive like oh no he doesn’t like bright lipstick and gladiator sandals make you look like a whore
like buddy sorry you are not some kind of sexual wine connoisseur you are sixteen and would probably fuck a grapefruit
so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far”